Decided and Ready
by grdnstchicky
Summary: My first attempt at fan fiction. Edward and Bella are two inexperienced newlyweds trying to get through their first night together on Isle Esme. Rated M/Lemons. Enjoy. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my very first attempt at Fan Fiction. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I have read other fanficts on the subject but they always seemed too experienced for me. My version involves a couple of inexperienced lovers and shows exactly how I think Edward and Bellas first night might have been. **

** Let me say too that I don't own any of the characters. **

**Enjoy...**

**Grdnstchicky**

BPOV-

"Forever," He agreed, and then pulled us gently into deeper water.

My toes left the sand as he moved us deeper into the swelling waves. He pulled my body close to his with one arm around my back, his elbow at the base of my spine and his hand in my hair. The cool touch of his skin was barely noticeable in the warm water. His other arm wrapped around me just underneath my bottom holding me afloat.

"I wonder, my beautiful Bella, if you could do something for me?" He asked.

"Of course" I answered quickly "Anything."

"I wonder if you could hold very still for me, don't move too much, or rather try not to move too much" he grinned as he said the last part but I could see in his eyes two things. The first was that he meant it. The second was that whatever he was planning was going to take a lot of effort on his part and he very much wanted it to succeed. " I know those silly human hormones take over, but please, do this for me"

"Okay, I will" I answered slowly, still gazing into his dark eyes. He kissed me and I felt his hand slide down my back to my side and then down past my hip to my thigh to my knee. I shuddered at his touch, so gentle. How did he think he could ever hurt me. He slowly raised my leg and wrapped it around his waist then followed with the other.

"Edward?" I asked seductively, because I didn't want him to think I was not enjoying what he was doing. I looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Slowly" he said. " I'm trying to see if I can manage having you so close." I realized then the reason for the deeper water. It would be devastating to find out that I couldn't be this close to Edward. But here in the deeper water even if he needed to push me away I wouldn't be hurt. Leave it to Edward to think of everything. "Bella." I heard my name and it brought me back to reality.

"I never imagined I could be this close to you Bella, never in a century of centuries" As he spoke I realized that he had accomplished this task without swallowing even once and that he was beginning to relax even more. To truly feel us together. I felt him stir under me and gasped. It was the first time I'd felt that part of Edward near me. So close to everything I wanted. But, the moment I gasped, he froze. Like a marble statue in the middle of the ocean.

" Bella, did I hurt you?, Did you change your mind? Are you Okay? Scared? Nervous? Are you." I put my fingers over his mouth.

"I'm." I didn't get to finish.

"Do not say fine" he said quickly.

" I wasn't going to say fine. I was going to say, Ready" I knew it was only loud enough for him to hear as I stared deeply into his eyes.

He threw his head back and a sound came from him that I couldn't grasp, a hiss, a growl, a moan. I wasn't sure. But at that very instant, I was swept up and carried back to the beach at a very inhuman speed.

The next moment that I was aware of, I was placed gently on my feet in the bedroom that I had just come from. Only seconds had passed but here I was standing in the towel that I had hung on the tree next to his clothes. "How?" I said in a hushed questioning tone. Edward wasn't with me but the room seemed to be in a blur. Candles were lighting almost instantly one after the other, the windows and doors were opened, the fire was suddenly brighter, the heat in the room was almost unbearable. I watched the scene unfold before me like magic. It was beautiful, more than I could have imagined.

Then it was still and Edward was in front of me. Of-course he wouldn't be out of breath. I still hadn't even had time to close my mouth and take it all in. Mere seconds had gone by.

"Breathe Bella" he said, and I did.

" I thought the heat in the room would help you to be more comfortable" he went on to say as he touched my shoulder.

"I, what, oh, yeah, but, why did you, why right now and not before or later?" I was speechless and a little confused. We had just been about to begin what I thought was making love,when he scooped me up , brought me in, and left me standing alone in my towel.

It was almost as if he could read my mind when he answered my thoughts.

Pushing his hands through his damp hair he said " I needed a moment Bella, I was very much on the verge of losing control. The feel of your bare skin on mine combined with the water pushing us around. I felt at ease, too at ease I guess, and then I felt. Well, I felt myself brush against you, and you gasped. I thought I'd hurt you somehow and then I asked if you were okay, and you, well, you said you were ready, in this, this voice that was just so, so inconceivably sexy. I almost lost it right there and took you in the ocean."

"I thought you were going to" I responded with a little disappointment in my tone.

"Oh Bella, Love, I would like nothing more than to experience making love to you in the ocean. But I think for _OUR_ first time, I would prefer the more traditional bedroom setting."

"The candles, the fire, the huge bed?" I asked

" All part of my elaborate scheme to seduce my wife" He replied, grinning his crooked grin at me. " and to regain some semblance of control."

He slid his fingers from my shoulders to the towel that he had wrapped me in on the way into the house. Loosened it and let it drop.

His eyes wandered over me. A little bit of the nervousness began to creep back into my mind. He had seen me naked in the water but this was different. I felt exposed in the light without anything, even water, to hide in.

"Beautiful." He said. " Bella your exquisite" "How did I become the luckiest man on earth."

All of my fears melted away again as his words washed over me. Although I thought I was the luckiest one.

I wrapped my arms around his neck slowly. I didn't want a repeat of the standing alone scene. Even if it was only for a few seconds. I looked into his eyes and they gave me the permission I was seeking. I leaned into him and he met me with a kiss so enchanting I'd thought I'd die right there from happiness.

"Breathe Bella" he said again and I felt his lips smile on mine. I did and then kissed him again with more passion. He didn't hold back like he would've done before we were married, before I told him that we belonged together, before I told him I was ready. That thought triggered another memory, of us in our meadow, we had almost made love then. But that time I had put a stop to things. I told Edward I wasn't ready for that yet and I wanted to wait for our wedding night.

"Bella" I heard my name and opened my eyes, smiling at my husband on our wedding night " There you are, don't close them, keep your eyes open, look at me"

I tried to listen but as our kisses became more heated and then as he lay me gently onto the bed and more so as he laid beside me, it was hard not to close my eyes and drift happily on the tide of love.

"I love you" I said in between kisses.

" As I love you, Mrs. Cullen" he answered.

*** Ok sooo, what did you think? Please review, I'm truly curious as to what you think. Thanks in advance. Chapter 2 will be up soon.***


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, so here is chapter 2 in Bella'a POV. I think I'm heading in the right direction. Let me know what you think. **

**I dont own anything except my wild imagination and the keys Im typing on. Enjoy.**

-Con't in BPOV-

We laid there side by side. I was trying so hard to be still. I didn't want anything to go wrong, to give Edward any reason to have even the slightest bit of difficulty with his control. Edward and I had talked about this so many times, I knew it would be easier for him if he was in charge of how fast we progressed. I managed fairly well, only wrapping my arms around his neck a few times when our kisses became so heated I'd thought I'd melt. Edward would gently remove my hands, redirecting them for a moment, to my sides or onto the bed, never stopping what he was doing for an instant.

He inched his way down my throat obviously enjoying every moment, rejoicing in my little moans of pleasure.

" I'm losing myself in you." he purred. I almost came undone. " Does that scare you?" he asked.

"No." I managed to say passionately through my clenched lips. Was he deliberately teasing me, did he want me to explode? My heart was thrumming in my chest. I knew, not only could he hear it, but he could feel it beating rapidly against my chest, the sound and feel of my pulse echoing through my skin to his mouth that was now over my left breast.

I gasped at the amazing feeling of his cool tongue on my skin and expected him to freeze up, I actually tensed for a minute, preparing myself for the cold feel of stone lying next to me. But it didn't come. I felt him smile against my skin.

" I'm a quick student Bella" he said " I wont make that mistake again" He continued kissing his way around my body, breathing in my scent. Running his hands along my skin, up and down my legs, across my stomach and to my hip. He pulled me to my side facing him and crushed his lips to mine. I returned the favor by wrapping my arms around his neck again and tangling my hands in his messy bronze hair. He didn't stop me this time, he only pulled me closer.

"Oh god Edward ." his hands were all over me now. I was loving every second. I'd waited so long to feel this and I knew our moment was coming soon, his eyes were smoldering, a flaming copper, and his unnecessary breathing was just as ragged as mine. His firm grasp was only making me want him more.

My hands roamed freely now over his sculpted god like body. I felt him pause and swallow twice. Once when my hands traced over his naked bottom and once again when my fingertips brushed past the bronze dusting of hair below his navel.

" Careful Mrs. Cullen." " I don't know how much of _that _Ican handle." But as he spoke my hand moved further down into the soft hair and brushed against him. He threw his head back and growled loudly. I guess I didn't listen well enough.

I was grinning widely when he looked back over at me, eyes full of lust.

"You growled at me." I said to him quickly, feigning a little shock. Either He didn't care or he saw right through my charade because I was on my back with him hovering over me in a split second.

I didn't have to feign my shock at that moment. He threw me completely off guard. But I recovered quickly. Staring into each others eyes there were no words I needed to say. I just simply nodded my head slightly. I was ready. Ready for everything. I needed to feel him, to be one with him, connected to him.

It was amazing that in the second he took to turn me over he regained his composure. He was so calm. I knew he could still hear the rapid beat of my traitorous heart giving me away. I could tell he wanted to slow it down. To enjoy, to savor. I took a couple of deep breaths.

" Bella, my beautiful Bella, are you sure?"

I wanted to smack him. My body felt like it was going to burst. I nodded again looking straight into his eyes. No fear. No caution. No worries.

I said slowly " I told you Edward we belong together and I. am. Ready. For all of this."

He grinned his crooked grin and kissed me so softly it could have been the wind blowing across my lips. He lowered his body slightly onto mine, using his knee to separate my legs. He kept himself hovering right above me. His super hero like strength only letting me bear the slightest bit of his weight.

I was so ready that I instinctively arched toward him.

" Easy Bella," he said " Let me take this slowly and for gods sake please tell me if I hurt you in any way." " You may have to hit me or scream my name but do whatever you must to make me hear you."

" Promise Me."

" I will." " I promise Edward."

He kissed me again and I felt a little more of his weight bear down on me. I let out a sigh, it felt so good. My pitiful imagination had done this no justice.

I felt it then, the pressure of his erection against my most private area.

I knew it would hurt. I had worked up the courage to talk to Angela and Jessica and even Alice before the wedding. They said it would hurt a little and that we should go slowly and take our time. That if we did. It would be worth it.

Edward slowly and gently pushed his way just slightly into me. I wondered again if he could read my mind, then thought the girls might have be right, slow and gentle. I hadn't felt anything this good ever. He thrust in a little more and then I felt the pain. I knew he felt me tense and I quickly tried to reassure him before he turned to stone.

" Its normal Edward, its going to hurt a little in the beginning, we just have to go slowly"

He nodded but didn't look convinced. " Even if you were human it would be the same. Its okay, I'm okay, Don't stop."

He nodded again and although the look of concern didn't leave his face completely his eyes were dark and lustful. I arched my hips slightly to him to let him know it was safe to move. He closed his eyes and slowly and even more gently pushed his way inside me.

I felt myself give way to his presence and I gasped at the pain, in that instant his eyes opened and stared into mine. It was as if I was in heaven and hell all wrapped up together. The longing and needing, the waiting, wanting and aching. The pain in my body and in his eyes as he watched me.

He was torn, I could see it in his eyes. He didn't want to do anything that would cause me pain. But I could see that he didn't want this to end. Neither did I.

" I'm okay" and I was, that last bit, that moment of pain, that was all of it. My body giving way to his. The way it was supposed to be for us. I was now in heaven and I believed in that moment that hell didn't even exist.

"Edward" I whispered. " You are amazing." " I never imagined it could feel so good"

He smiled and I saw his eyes relax. " You are really okay then, you're not still in pain, Bella please tell me"

" No, I'm not in pain" " I'm wonderful, I'm beyond wonderful" I said putting my hands on the side of his face, making sure not to use the word fine, and pulling him into a kiss.

I arched my hips towards him and felt him stir inside me. Oh god I cant believe this feeling. We stayed that way for a long moment. Enjoying the feeling of being joined. Eye to eye. Mouth to mouth. Body to Body. Slowly, steadily we began to move, our bodies following the beat of our mouths.

He let out a low hiss and called my name " Bella." I thought I heard something rip close to my ear. Whatever it was it wasn't important. All I cared about, all I could see was him.

He was moving faster now, and I was keeping up. My arms wrapped around his waist. Our Hands running up and down each others bodies. My nails rippled over his back with each thrust of his hips. I moaned his name over and over. I thanked god for him. His head was dipped down toward my neck but I didn't care, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I felt an incredible surge of pressure between my legs, a burning, an ache. " Oh God I'm.." I was almost delirious. My legs wrapped around him as my body arched, my toes curled and I shattered over the edge, shouting out his name and my love to whoever would hear. My release triggered his and I felt him spill his cool liquid inside of me.

When our bodies were done shaking and we had caught our breath, he gently left me and rolled over to one side of the bed. I felt so wonderful, but also in that same instant, felt empty without him inside of me. He pulled me up to his chest and cradled me in his arm. I let out a involuntary giggle. A side effect of the happiness I felt I guess. I was suddenly exhausted, humming a little happy tune I snuggled down into his arm as he pulled the sheet over me.

" Bella?" he asked. Sounding almost dreamy to me.

" Yes?" I answered.

"I was worried for a minute, your scent mixed with the smell of your sex and the smell of the blood when I broke past your barrier was almost too much for me to bear." he sighed. " I'm amazed I kept control and didn't hurt you" " I'll owe Esme some new pillows after tonight." " Bella?"

"Okay." I said sleepily. Although I didn't actually know what he said. I was in paradise, drifting away, already dreaming I guess, it was snowing in my dream and Edward was there holding me in his arms.

The sun, hot on the bare skin of my back, woke me in the morning. Late morning, maybe afternoon, I wasn't sure.

**Okay, thats it for Bellas POV. We are back where SM left off in BD. I am considering this writing from Edwards POV. I think it would be interesting to get into his head. Reviews will help me to decide. But I probably will because its stirring around in my head already. Stay tuned... **


	3. Chapter 3

**F**irst, Let me say Thank you to the people who reviewed the first 2 chapters. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. It definitely gave me the encouragement I needed to go on and write in Edwards POV.

So, now that I've decided I'll write it I have to let you know... I will be backing Edwards version up a bit. To the point where he is leaving her in the bedroom. I always wondered what he did with his time when she was "having her human moment". I mean really 15-20 minutes for Edward might as well be hours. Now, because I want this to stay as true to character as possible, you will definitely recognize SM words as we move along in this chapter and others. After-all, there's no way for me to get from here to there without them. But, since she wrote this part in Bella's POV I think it will still be rewarding to read. She, SM, lucky girl that she is, owns the twilight universe, the characters and some of the words...I can only say that I own my wandering imagination and the hope that you will enjoy Decided and Ready in EPOV as much as me.

Chapter 3

Edwards POV

" I'll wait for you in the water" I said as I dipped my head toward her throat. Brushing my lips across her neck to her shoulder.

I started out the French doors in the bedroom that led directly to the beach instead of going back through the house and out the front door. I wanted her to know that I would be right outside of the doors if she needed me. I hesitated for a fraction of a second, unsure if I should tell her. Then decided I didn't need to. Surely she'd see me go out these doors and presumably she'd follow when she was ready. She didn't need my instruction.

I didn't think she saw my hesitation as it was only a fraction of a second and I had never stopped walking toward the doors. I processed another thought quickly. I was her husband now. Should I get undressed here? Now? Bella had seen me before without my shirt on. It wasn't as if she had never seen me bare chested. Although those were completely different circumstances. I decided quickly that I would take off just my shirt. Surely that couldn't be too much. Besides, being a selfish creature, I _wanted_ her to think of me while she was getting ready. I dropped my shirt on the floor just inside the door and stepped out into the moonlight.

It was a clear night, the moon was full and bright. Being out here in the middle of nowhere it seemed bigger, brighter somehow. The air was warm. That was good. I didn't want Bella to get a chill. Just the thought put a sour look on my face. I decided I needed to do something with myself until Bella joined me.

I pondered for a moment what I could do with my time. I settled for making sure the beach was clear for her. I didn't want her stepping on a broken shell or tripping on a mound of sand. I moved swiftly over the sand smoothing it out as I went. My keen sight showing me where even the smallest shell lay. There wasn't much on the sand and I was quickly looking for something else to do. The staff that Carlisle and Esme hired to care for this place must do a wonderful job keeping it up as there was nothing I could find to do to occupy my time outside the house. I knew when I heard the bathroom door close and the water turn on that Bella would still be a while.

Looking for something else to do, other than listening in on Bella, I figured I could do the same in the water. The currents sometimes made walking into the water in the daytime tricky, with it being dark Bella would have no idea where the drop offs would be. I decided that I would smooth out the sand where we would be swimming.

I walked at an almost human pace to a nearby tree and hung what was left of my clothes on a bent over palm. I wondered if I should leave my boxers on. I was suddenly, freakishly aware of how different I was than Bella. Stone cold compared to Luscious warmth. What if she didn't like what she saw? Would she like my alabaster skin in the moonlight? Would I look _too_ ghostly, too pale?. "Aghh" How did people get over this? Here I was, a married man, afraid of what my wife would think when she saw me unclothed for the first time. I felt very human at that moment, very innocent. Only Bella could bring that out in me. I let the love I knew she had for me wash away my fears and anxiety.

I ran a scene in my head where I left the boxers on and Bella came out in nothing but a towel. Would she? Another where she came out in a swimsuit. Another where she came out in some lingerie I fleetingly saw floating through Alices mind as she packed Bella's bags. I knew we would feel awkward taking our clothes off in the water and if we did surely they would float away and Bella would insist that I retrieve them. The option I was left with was no boxers. I suddenly felt very comfortable with that.

The moonlight danced off of my skin onto the water. "Bella would like that" I said out loud to no-one.

I ducked under the waves, the water felt amazingly warm, like the heat of Bella's skin. The moonlight shone through the water and I was able to see with perfect clarity. I was under for quite a while smoothing out little dips and pulling out seaweed. It was wonderful sometimes not to have to breathe.

When I had leveled the last bit of sand in the area in which I'd thought we'd be swimming I came to the surface. The water was up to my neck. I realized at once how buoyant I felt. _This_ was good. I would bring Bella out here. I had already thought about how I wanted to start things off. Slowly. I needed to be sure that the monster in me was well caged. If I needed to push Bella away she wouldn't be hurt out here. At least not as seriously.

I listened for a minute towards the house. Ten minutes had gone by and I still hadn't heard her footsteps on the sand. For a moment I wondered if she had come out when I was under the waves and not seeing me went back inside. I listened harder, over the small waves breaking on the shore, over the boat bumping against the dock, I heard the water running in the bathroom. "Still?" I said to my imaginary friend out there in the dark. Then I realized the sound was a bit different. The water seemed to have more force. The shower. How odd that she would choose this time to take a shower I thought curiously.

I gave up and didn't try to figure it out. The talks I had had with Carlisle and my brothers days before the wedding had answered a lot of the questions I had about tonight regarding my delicate situation with Bella, but, when it came to figuring out the women in my family and why they did the things they did I had no answers. I decided then to just stay in the water and wait. Ten minutes. If she wasn't out by then I'd go in and ask if she was okay. I could do another ten minutes. I kept my mind busy imagining how Bella would look. Here. In the water with me. I let out a little growl. I wasn't doing myself any good. I was so nervous. So scared I would hurt her. Maybe she would change her mind. I had to make her understand how important it was that she tell me if I hurt her at all. Ugh, why did I ever agree to this. I knew my answer as fast as I had asked myself the question. Because I wanted her just as much as she wanted me.

I waded closer to the beach, picking up and throwing out to sea any little object that crossed my path. I stopped when I was waist deep. The water was warming my body a bit and I didn't want to lose what little heat it could capture. I heard the water turn off in the house. " Not much longer now Cullen." I said out loud to myself this time.

I started to prepare myself mentally for the onslaught of her scent. It was always so strong when her skin was warm from a shower. Mixed with the delicate scent of strawberries. A fruit I'd loved as a human. I wondered if I'd ever told her that. I stood there, motionless in the waves, thinking about all of the moments that had led up to now. I thought about how Bella looked coming down the aisle to me at our wedding. Like all she could see was her and me. I thought about how she looked on the flight to Rio and how peaceful she slept there in my arms. I thought about the look of wonder in her eyes as we neared the island. The little frown she made and the crease in her forehead as she figured out what I'd said about it being a gift from Carlisle to Esme.

I heard her footsteps then. He feet moved slowly. The sand giving way in this scratchy almost gritty way. I knew she couldn't hear it. The sound it made gave me chills for a moment. I didn't want to think that it could be scraping against her feet, especially if I had missed anything in the sand. I almost flew out of the water to pluck her up and carry her so that nothing could hurt her. But I knew I was being over protective and a bit over cautious , and I knew she didn't care for that, so I let her come to me. I didn't turn around, as much as I wanted to, I was raised to have more respect for her than that. I would hold onto every ounce of the humanity she had given back to me over these last few years. I would count on it and her to get me through this night.

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Okay, so what do you think? Totaly Edward or no? I see him right now as selfless and self centered, controlling but trying to find a balance. There are so many facets to his personality. Please, Please review for me I need to know if I'm going in the right direction.

Next chapter soon...


	4. Chapter 4

I want to say thank you again to those of you who have left reviews and to a few friends who went online and read Decided and Ready. I wouldn't be doing this w/o all of your encouragement. So THANK YOU!

To say its been difficult for me to reach inside Edwards head is an understatement. I imagined it would be but wow really...it has been hard. I'm not a guy, I don't think like a guy, I don't act like a guy. But, then again, Edwards not your typical guy, right? So... I hope I've done him justice.

The beginning of the chapter will be familiar, well I guess it all will if you've read BD and Decided and Ready in Bella's POV. This will just have an Edwardian (LOL) twist. But, remember, Edward is a vampire, so, he will have seen much more and experienced much more than our fragile little human Bella making this chapter longer than the others.

I'm sure you know, but I'll tell you anyway. I am not lucky enough to have been the one who created this wonderful storyline, the characters within it, or even the location(sigh). All I own is in-between the lines, so to speak.

* * *

Chapter 4

Edwards POV

I stared at the moon as I heard her moving closer.

"Beautiful" I heard her say, I felt her hand brush mine.

"It's all right" I replied, I wasn't impressed. In my limitless existence I'd seen the wonders of the world. I'd seen the full moon over a thousand times. It was all nothing compared to the sight before my eyes as I turned to her. She was the very definition of beautiful. I intertwined our fingers and looked into her deep brown eyes. " But I wouldn't use the word beautiful, not with you standing here."

She placed her warm hand on my chest. I was so feeling so unsteady that I quivered at her touch. I took a deep breath to surround myself with her scent. I knew it would help, saturating myself in her fragrance. It had worked in the past. My breath came faster. So many thoughts, dozens of them, were scrambling through my mind along with a range of emotions I wasn't sure was healthy for this particular engagement. Fear, excitement, love, lust. I felt alive, more alive than I ever could have imagined. Besides, how could I think straight when she was here in front of me like this. I realized I needed to calm down and get my emotions under control. I hoped I didn't look outwardly shaken. Bella was so perceptive.

Once I had my thoughts together, I knew I had to remind Bella of our promise. There was no way I could move on without doing so. I wanted to be sure she understood how hard this could be.

She seemed calm. I wondered how she could be so in control when my insides were churning. This was definitely an unforeseen reversal in roles.

" I promised we would try" I said quietly, stilling so she would sense I was serious. " If...if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once." I added. I didn't add, "if I hurt you I will never be able to forgive myself, if I kill you , I'll want to die too."

She just nodded seriously. Showing me that she understood and took a step toward me. She placed her head against my chest and I heard her say. " Don't be afraid, we belong together."

My thoughts quickened upon hearing those words. I weighed the words carefully and deeply.

She was undoubtedly right. We did belong together and while I had to be careful, err on the side of caution. I didn't need to be afraid. The fear would only stand in our way. I had agreed to this and by all rights and purposes I was Bella's husband. I wanted her and needed her every bit as she wanted and needed me. I loved her beyond what we are capable of understanding. I loved her beyond existence.

"Forever" was all I could get to come out of my lips. I was speechless. Rendered silent by my thoughts. I guided us out into the deeper water. Gazing into Bella's eyes and letting my own admire her body.

Eventually the water was too deep for her to stand and I brought her into my arms. Her dark hair splayed out behind her in the water. Swirling with the tide. Her breasts rising with the swell of the waves. Her skin looked pale, like mine. Her lips red. She was so warm and she smelled amazing mixed with the saltiness of the sea.

We'd waited for this moment and I had a sneaking suspicion that she wanted to move along quickly, but I had other ideas. I had fantasized about this moment in my mind, prepared for it as best I could, I needed to take things slowly. Test myself little by little. I knew she would understand.

"I wonder, my beautiful Bella, if you could do something for me?" I asked knowing her answer.

"Of course," she said "Anything."

"I wonder if you could hold very still for me, don't move too much, or rather try not to move too much" I looked directly into her eyes, willing her to accept my pace, then flashed her a smile. She seemed to understand my seriousness. " I know those silly human hormones take over, but please, do this for me" I added.

" Okay, I will" she said, speaking slowly, staring at me. If she were a vampire I would've thought she was trying to dazzle me.

I kissed her then and let my free hand trail down her body. It was an amazing moment for me. Her body felt incredible. Soft and warm. I wanted to wrap her around me. To see if I could handle our bare bodies pressed together. The first test.

Gradually, I wrapped both of her legs around my waist. Her arms were around my neck and her hands were in my hair. I had a quick moment of satisfaction before my desire surged through to the front of my mind. My thoughts at this point geared toward lust more than anything else, caused by my naked wife wrapped around my body. She said my name.

" Edward" she said curiously. Almost a question.

" Slowly " I replied. " I'm trying to see if I can manage having you so close." Her body was pressed to mine. Her warmth penetrating my skin like a thousand little flames.

I could freely run my hands along her back and sides and the feel of her was amazing. A wave swelled over us and her body floated up and then down my chest. Water dripped from her chin, her eyes never left mine. In this situation the movement was sensual, erotic. I spoke her name without thinking. "Bella."

I continued to pour my thoughts out. " I never imagined I could be this close to you Bella, never in a century of centuries. " I was enjoying every new experience we had together.

The vampire in me was yelling for me to take her, but the man knew better. I had to keep control of myself. If not for me, for her. I would not take her here. Not Like this. Not in the ocean. I thought about my preparations earlier. The white room in the house would be warm and romantic. She deserved that and more. I would not ruin this by forgetting my honorable ways.

But even as I thought about it, I could feel her so close. Every part of her. Her core brushing about my abdomen. I couldn't help it. My body was reacting to hers already.

A wave moved over us. She moved up again, her body floating easily in the salty water, and back down. Only when she returned to her starting position I felt myself brush against her. I was, instantly and fully, stiff.

She gasped and I froze. If my heart had been beating it would have jumped out of my chest. I must have hurt her. I knew I would. She was so fragile. Maybe she had come to her senses, changed her mind. Maybe she was having some of the same insecurities I was. I should have thought of the fact that she doesn't like to be controlled, I should have talked some of this over with her. I was taking control, leading the whole night. Maybe she needed to know that she held the power here. Hurriedly I spoke up. The most important question up front.

" Bella, did I hurt you ? Did you change your mind? Are you okay? Scared? Nervous? Are you..." she put her hand over my mouth to silence me. My mind sought the answer in her eyes.

"I'm.." she started to speak and I could see it then, her answer for everything. Instantly I was slightly irritated, she would try to placate me. No, I wouldn't allow that.

"Do not say fine." I blurted it out quickly. Letting the irritation I had drain into my words.

She replied in a whisper. I could see the remote bit of hurt I'd caused, mixed with something else. Confidence. I could see it there. I was wrong. I shut up then and let her finish.

" I wasn't going to say fine. I was going to say ready." she still whispered, but I had heard her. She said ready. She was ready. For me, for this. To be husband and wive. Ready to face the challenges of this night together.

I was overtaken by raw emotion. I had never experienced this kind of feeling. Not even when I hunted. I leaned back and moaned deep in my chest.

At that moment, I gave in to fate, I scooped her up in my arms and made my way to the shoreline. I knew in an instant I could be out of the water and to the house. I had already changed my plan, I would at least get her into the house. But that would be as far as we would get. I wanted her, and I wanted her now. I came out of the water and raced across the sand.

Across the beach I saw something blowing in the breeze. Our clothes. It was all it took. A moment of clarity. I charged across the beach scooped up the towel that was there. Bella would need something to dry with. I turned and went through the french doors with lightening speed. In reality, only a few moments had passed. I don't think Bella really grasped anything at all. She stood in the room where I had placed her looking bewildered. That was okay. I needed a minute. I raced around the room, lighting candles, stoking the fire, opening the windows and doors. I was back to the original plan...

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Ok, so I said it was going to be longer, but I actually had to break it about half way through. SRY! On the positive side...its now going to be 1 chapter longer!

I think I am over the hurdle with Edwards head (lol) and I already have the next chapter waiting. So enjoy, and please please review. Tell me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

**Going to keep this short and sweet. Thanking all of you who have taken the time to read. Double thanks to those of you who have reviewed. Triple thanks to a few wonderful friends who encourage me and pass this story along on the waves of the web.**

**Again, didn't get as far as I would've liked but that's okay. It leaves room for one more chapter. :)**

**Dedicating this chapter to my fav fan... Lisa. Enjoy.**

**Oh!, and before i go, one last detail. Stephanie Meyers is the amazing mind behind the Twilight Series. **

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Chapter 5

Edwards POV

I finished the room quickly and went to stand with her. She looked amused. But was holding her breath. A bad habit she'd undoubtedly picked up somewhere in her childhood.

"Breathe Bella." I said. She took a deep breath.

" I thought the heat in the room would help you to be more comfortable" Realizing immediately that I'd mentioned something earlier when she spoke of how warm it was in the room I felt like a fool.

" I , what, oh, yeah, but, why did you, why right now, and not before or later." she said. I realized I wasn't the only one not paying attention.

Reaching up I messed with my hair, I chuckled inside thinking of habits.

" I needed a moment Bella, I was very much on the verge of losing control." I left out the details of seeing myself having her on the foyer floor and continued. " The feel of your bare skin on mine combined with the water pushing us around. I felt at ease, too at ease I guess, and then I felt. Well, I felt myself brush up against you, and you gasped. I thought I'd hurt you somehow and then I asked if you were okay, and you, well, you said you were ready, in this, this voice that was so, so inconceivably sexy, I almost lost it right there and took you in the ocean." I finished. Neglecting to add in the foyer scene again, for both our benefits.

" I thought you were going to." she answered. Did she sound disappointed? I thought she would want the romantic scene. I guess that she too was just eager to be together. But, I didn't want regrets later when we thought back to this time.

" Oh Bella, Love, I would like nothing more than to experience making love to you in the ocean. But I think for _OUR _first time, I would prefer the more traditional bedroom setting." I spoke softly, looking into her eyes.

"The candles, the fire, the huge bed?" she motioned with her arms, sending her scent wafting on the breeze it made.

" All part of my elaborate scheme to seduce my wife." By the look on her face she wasn't completely satisfied with that. So I added "and to regain some semblance of control"

I saw the "Oh" slide across her face. She didn't need to say it out loud. But then her face changed, became softer, her eyes became darker and she invited me in with a look of pure seduction.

I brought my hands up to the towel I had wrapped around her. I loosened it a little, then let it drop to the floor.

I was overcome by her beauty. My blushing bride was striking... flawless...

"Beautiful." I said gazing over her. " Bella your exquisite." I looked up into her eyes. " How did I become the luckiest man on earth?" I wondered out loud to her.

She moved into me then wrapping her arms around my neck. She was moving painfully slow for me now. I knew she set this pace because of me. Hadn't I always spouted on about moving slow, staying safe, not tempting the monster within me. I did. Usually. But tonight was different. This was our wedding night and I had never wanted her so bad as now.

Briefly, I thought back to earlier in the night when I wondered if the control I was exerting over the situation was bothering Bella, I decided that Bella controlling the pace for now was a good thing. After all, marriage was a give and take and I wanted us to be as equal as we possibly could in everything we did together.

I needed to kiss her. Feel her, taste her. I bent down and she instinctively moved up to meet me. I kissed her slow and long. I made sure to explore every part of her lips with mine.

As always, mid way through our kiss Bella stopped breathing. It was a bemusing thing how I always had to remind her to breathe. I loved it. I smiled, barely lifting my mouth from hers and whispered.

" Breathe Bella."

She did and then kissed me again with more ardor. I was waiting for this moment. I kissed her back, surpassing her passion, just restraining myself enough so that I wouldn't hurt her but definitely more so than I had ever kissed her before, it was amazing.

Her eyes were closed. I knew she couldn't control that, but I wanted to see her eyes. I wanted to know that she was looking at me.

" Bella." I slowed our kiss for a moment getting her attention. " There you are, don't close them, keep your eyes open, look at me." I put as much want, as much passion as I could into those last words.

As we kissed our hands and mouths seemed to move of their own will. The heat between us only intensified with every moment. I could not wait any longer. I picked her up in my arms as I had earlier and carried her the few feet to the bed. I laid her down as gently as I could while not removing my mouth from hers. Not letting my eyes slip from the brown orbs that stared back at me.

Sliding onto the bed next to her I laid by her side. I took her hand and kissed it, then I kissed her mouth again and again. Then I heard the words I longed to hear every minute of the day.

" I love you."

" As I love you, Mrs Cullen." I said "forever" in my mind because my lips had already found their way back to hers.

I laid kisses everywhere I could reach without leaving her side. Her mouth, her face, her eyes. I made my way down her throat, pausing over her pulse to place gentle kisses there. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. I would take her hands off of my neck and body because she tended to let them travel to places I wasn't sure I could handle her touching. I found so much pleasure in her little moans and gasps that I'd return to where I started. Her mouth. Then I'd let myself savor the process of repeating everything all over again. I was oblivious to time, to any other sound than Bella, to everything. This is what it felt like to love and be loved.

" I'm losing myself in you." I stated as I peppered kisses down her neck. I realized right away that she may take that wrong. That maybe she would think I meant my control. When in fact I had never been in more control of those ...desires.

" Does that scare you?" I asked as I trailed further down to her collar bone. Her eyes were closed again now. But I didn't mind. I wasn't there to look into them at the moment anyway and by the sound she was making she was enjoying every minute of my exploration. Her pulse beat quickly and she arched to my lips.

" No." she said forcefully. Which spurred me on. I moved further down her body where her breasts were beneath my hand and started to kiss her there. I don't remember deciding to do it, but my tongue slipped out of my mouth and grazed her nipple. The skin there was warm and tight and firmer than the rest. It felt amazing against my tongue. I gently sucked it into my mouth and she gasped in pleasure.

She tensed for a minute. The same way she always had, when she gasped, or when either I'd taken myself too far or she had crossed a boundary I didn't know if I'd be able to step back to. Somehow she would know I was about to back away and prepare herself for it. It was something I'd experienced many times. Including earlier tonight. But this time was different. I wasn't taking myself too far and she didn't cross any boundary tonight that I wasn't prepared to cross with her. Also, I knew by her heartbeat that her gasp was in pleasure and not pain.

" I'm a quick student Bella." I smiled into her skin. " I won't make that mistake again." I kissed her body everywhere. Exploring every inch of her. Touching her in the places where kisses were moments before. I caressed her skin, no place on her body was undiscovered but one. I ran my hand along her hip and pulled her to her side. I wanted her with every ounce of my being. I kissed her fiercely and she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her hands in my hair. I urged her on now by pulling her closer, up against my body. I knew she could feel every inch of us pushed together and it made me ache for her more.

" Oh God Edward!" she exclaimed. I grabbed at her, wanting her closer. As close as she could possibly be. We tossed and rolled to find a way to be nearer. Her skin was on fire. I was breathing heavily, at this point it was just a reaction. I had almost no control and I felt little worry over it. There was no fear in me as I kissed and touched her. The love and lust that was prominent in my mind took over and ruled my every action.

Her hands were on me too now. Flames in a field of ice. Her hands ran up and down my back, covered my chest, then skimmed along my face. Her fingers traced my chin and nose. She continued to kiss every part of me in her reach. I swallowed my venom when she ran her warm hands down my back and over my bottom and swallowed once again when she was even more brazen and brushed her fingertips through the hair near my hardness.

" Careful, Mrs. Cullen, I don't know how much of _that_ I can handle." I was so aroused, but now, fully aware of how out of control I'd been. The venom was a quick reminder. Though I didn't let it deter me like I would have in the past.

I let out a growl, when she didn't heed my warning and moved her hands through the hair to touch me, throwing my head back in shear delight. I wouldn't stop her. She could do with me as she pleased as long as she continued.

She waited a beat and when I looked down she said shockingly " You growled at me!" She wasn't upset. As a matter of fact she was grinning from ear to ear. I knew she was toying with me and I didn't want to play fair.

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**Ok, so please, please, R & R . I really would love to know what you think. I should have the final chapter up this coming weekend. I know some of you have really been looking forward to the feathers! I can't wait either. **

**Until then...**


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, we're here. Last chapter. Its longer than the others... I'm not sure if I nailed Edward on the head with this. In my head he goes back and forth alot with his emotions/thoughts. Happy, fearful, desperate, anxious, eager, worried...etc. To me thats just normal for him, but everyone has their own Edward in their mind so I hope I did him justice for you all.

Thanks to all who have read and reviewed.

I would like to dedicate this last chapter to my hubby and thank him for being super supportive and generous. Without him I would still be sitting here asking myself if I had it right.

Don't own nothing but you already knew that. Okay lets read...

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Chapter 6

Edwards POV

Bella's hair was fanning out over the pillows. She took a deep breath and her smile faded into a lustful stare. I could see her little game was over. We stayed that way for a bit. Taking in each others eyes. I wondered how many times we would do that to each other tonight. Almost lose control and have to pull ourselves back.

I was feeling anxious, but I needed things to slow down. I couldn't risk hurting her and I wanted our first time to be memorable for both of us. A vampires lightening speed wasn't called for in this situation.

I kept my eyes even on hers until she drew a few deep breaths. I asked myself how she could be so trusting as her eyes grew warm and dark. I knew she was ready for more.

" Bella, my beautiful Bella, are you sure?" What was wrong with me? I was confident just moments ago when I wanted to beg her to keep her hands moving. To never stop. Now, I was again uncertain. I needed to know, to be reassured, to hear her tell me it was okay to take what I wanted.

" I told you Edward we belong together and I am ready. For all of this." she said pointedly as she continued to stare me in the eyes. How did she know. Maybe she could read my mind. I smiled at the thought of Bella being able to read only my mind while I can read everyone's but hers.

I let her words guide me. I knew I had to move slowly, patiently. Maintaining control was again in the forefront of my mind. I would move slowly, savoring each movement, remembering each moment. Keeping the monster in my head well in check I lowered myself to her slightly. I could feel the heat coming off of her skin, see her perspiration making her glisten. I kissed her softly, slowly. I put everything I had into making it perfect for her.

Her naked body below me was enough to send me over the edge but the heat coming from her center was impossible to ignore. She was absolutely stunning. I should have told Bella that I needed to take things slowly at first. One step at a time. But before I could she arched her hips toward me bringing her heat nearer to me and sending her scent cascading to my senses. I breathed deep with anticipation.

"Easy Bella," I said " Let me take this slowly." Why was I thinking of Emmett and his vulgar mind as we left on our honeymoon.

"_Lets hope he keeps it together long enough for her to enjoy it, I bet it's over before it even gets started, hah 100 year old virgin," _

I wasn't worried about that, after all I am vampire and am fully capable of preforming. I was worried for Bella. I have read every book, earned medical degrees, I knew what to expect, the anatomy of things and still I am unprepared for what lies ahead. If she screams will I know if I'm hurting her or if she's enjoying herself. If I lose control will I even hear her? I threw the memory of Emmett to the side and continued

"and for God's sake please tell me if I hurt you in any way. You may have to hit me or scream my name, but do whatever you must to make me hear you, promise me."

"I will" she said. I'd have to trust her.

I lowered myself to her even more. Our bodies brushed. The warmth of her penetrating my skin. I kissed her slowly as I pushed my way inside her. Taking my time, enjoying the feeling of her enveloping me. I was anxious to be fully inside her but I forced myself to stop when I'd barely entered her.

This was the most amazing feeling in the world. My brothers and sisters explained this as being second only to drinking human blood. They were wrong. I could exist forever without human blood, but this, no, I couldn't exist another moment without this.

For a moment her face looked expectant like she knew the pain was coming. But she didn't cry out as either of us expected. She relaxed a little and looked into my eyes. I was waiting for some sign that it was okay to move on, I didn't get one. She wanted me to take the lead again. I pushed a little deeper and she gasped.

Her body tensed, the look on her face was excruciating for me to watch, I wanted to close my eyes. I didn't move. I needed to pull myself away from her. But how could I?

Her words were soft " Its normal Edward, its going to hurt a little in the beginning, we just have to go slowly"

She was in pain and trying to comfort me. I nodded, out of habit I guess, acknowledging her words without listening. I knew the pain wasn't over. There would be more to come, this was nothing.

"Even if you were human it would be the same. It's okay, I'm okay, Don't stop." I listened to her words this time. She always comforted me with her words.

I didn't want to stop, to pull away from her, it felt too good, it was selfish and I knew it. She was right, it would hurt her no matter the circumstances. I still didn't move but I looked into her eyes with concern, love and passion.

She arched her hips toward me, reclaiming control, forcing me into her just a fraction. I closed my eyes as I felt her pulse reverberating through me. Instinctively I pushed deeper. I felt her give way and more I could smell blood. The sound that she made in that moment was definitely not from enjoyment and I would remember it forever. She drew in a sharp breath and gasped in pain.

With my eyes wide, I stared at her in disbelief. She couldn't want this.

Moments ago, I had no chance of pulling myself away from her, but now, I had to concentrate on not ripping myself away. I wanted to ease her suffering but didn't know how. I knew any movement of mine would increase her pain. The fear of moving, of making it worse, kept me with her.

"I'm okay." she said and I felt her body relax.

She turned her head and with a smirk whispered close to my ear " Edward, you are amazing, I never imagined it could feel so good" she looked into my eyes.

Relief flooded me. I didn't need to break away from her. I never wanted to.

"You really are okay then, you're not still in pain, Bella please tell me?" I asked knowing her answer. I felt her body relax, become softer. If there was pain for her now it was overridden by her desire.

"No, I'm not in pain, I'm wonderful, I'm beyond wonderful." She had her hands on the sides of my face looking me in the eyes when she pulled me into a kiss and tilted her hips toward me.

I felt myself stir. Harden even more. We savored each others mouths and when I was satisfied I began to move. Slowly at first but with each passing stroke our rhythm increased. I never wanted to be away from her. My body and hers fit together perfectly. If I had a pulse it would have matched hers. I could hear hers beating frantically, calling to me. Telling me to drive harder, push deeper, move faster. Her heartbeat was my indication of her enjoyment. It reacted to my every move.

I should never have fixed my attention on Bella's heartbeat, in an instant my blood-lust roared. Aroused by all of the other delectable smells in the air it raged, it was never so strong, not even when I had to drink from her to save her life. My mind was reeling, being split in so many directions. The monster inside of me was screaming for her blood. The lover wanted more of her, deeper, harder, her sweet sex called to me in ways her blood couldn't. The man in me, he wanted to savor her and make this last forever.

I beat the monster back, he could have nothing here. He lunged forward crushing the lover and overthrowing the man. The need to bite her was so strong. To bite down and feel her hot blood pool in my mouth as I wholeheartedly thrust into her. I tried again to push the monster back but couldn't gain an edge. My senses were overloaded. I fought with every ounce of strength I had. I should have pulled away, raced to the other side of the room and insisted she go wash away the traces of our time together. Sweat, salt, sex...blood. I couldn't do it.

"Bella!"

He was winning, the monster, bashing me back down. I could stop breathing but I didnt know at this point if it would work. I tried to center myself, focusing on her natural scent, like wild flowers, ignoring the rest, it gave me the edge I was looking for. I crashed into the pillows next to her head and sunk my venomous teeth into the soft linen. A searing need had been released. The pillows were wrecked. I don't know how many times I crushed down onto them. The monster looking for nourishment and finding nothing. The urge was over just as fast as it came. Only moments had gone by. Bella didn't have a clue.

I would share this with her, later, right now I concentrated on bringing myself back, enjoying the feeling of being surrounded in Bella's heat. Her arms wrapped around me, her nails tickling my back, her moaning my name over and over.

I rested my head in the space under her chin. Moving quicker and enjoying every sensation. I thought again about Emmett's words and how he had a point, it would be so easy to lose yourself in your own need. _ Get out of my head emmett._

I focused on Bella, her sounds. Moving my hands over her body, I felt her tighten around me. Could it get any better?

" Oh God I think I'm..." she shouted and wrapped her legs around me. It turns out that yes it could feel better. I was suddenly aware of my impending release. Bella was arched against me in her own world of pleasure shouting my name and yelling she loved me when I joined her.

We laid collapsed together not speaking. Our tired breathing slowly relaxing. My full weight didn't seem to bother her much. I had never loved her more than at that moment.

I rolled to the side of her and moved to the top of the bed, pulling her with me. She giggled and hummed. She sounded happy, I knew I was.

"Bella?" I said her name quietly, It had been a few minutes and I wanted to share my thoughts on what had happened earlier.

"Yes."

"I was worried for a minute, your scent mixed with the smell of your sex and the smell of the blood when I broke past your barrier was almost too much for me to bear. I'm amazed I kept control and didn't hurt you." she would never understand how close it came no matter how I explained. Trying to lighten it up I added. " I'll owe Esme some new pillows after tonight."

She was breathing deep, I recognized the sound immediately, she was drifting off.

"Okay." was the only incoherent answer I received. I decided to let her sleep. She would need her energy for what I had planned over the next few days.

I stared into space, watching the feathers from the pillows float around on the breeze from the open windows and doors. I blew them back up into the air when they came close. I let my mind drift, daydreaming about our time here on the island. There was so much to see. I didn't know how much we would get to do though. I planned on spending a lot of time indoors.

The feathers were becoming a nuisance . The would land on my nose, get in my mouth if I opened it. How many pillows were there? I don't know how long it had been that we laid there. The moon was still bright in the sky illuminating the room. With my advanced eyesight it might as well have been mid-afternoon. I thought of the song, _Afternoon delight. _Maybe I should wake Bella. I glanced down and saw that she was covered in feathers too. I blew some of them off of her and was appalled at what I saw.

Her body was beginning to bruise. Small shadows flanked her side, her arm, her cheek. That was all I could see. Purplish blue marks on her ivory skin. I studied them closer and realized the ones on her arm were in the shape of my fingers.

She said she would tell me if I hurt her. Why didn't she? It was obvious to me that I had.

I slowly moved her and examined what I could. Her torso was worse. The mark on her cheek must have been made when I went after the pillows. I couldn't bear it. I sat back and waited for her to wake.

My hopes for this trip had been washed away in a brief moment. I could never touch her again while she was human. I wouldn't risk it.

Sometime later I noticed she was restless and overheated. I pulled her gently back to my chest. She relaxed instantly and drifted back to sleep. In this position I could see her back clearly. The bruises were there too. Was there a spot on her body that didn't ache from me touching her? I wanted to shout but that would only wake her. She would need her rest to recover. I would make sure she got it. I planned out our time here again, leaving the bedroom out of it. I would cook for her, do everything. Treat her like a queen. Show her the most majestic sites on the island. I would spend every minute making this up to her.

The sun was rising, I knew she would wake soon. Her heartbeat would always give her away. Her arms tightened around my neck and I traced the bruises along her spine with my fingertips. She didn't complain but her stomach growled and she laughed quietly.

"What's so funny?" I said in barely a whisper, ashamed for what I had done.

"You just can't escape being human for very long." she said

I didn't find her diversions funny. I needed her to tell me how she was.

She sat up, I couldn't look at her. The rising sun brought with it new shadows. In deeper colors, in bigger areas.

"Edward, what is it? Whats wrong?" she even had pain in her voice.

"You have to ask?'" I said cynically, hard.

I risked a glance at her then. Her face was contorted in confusion. I could see the hurt in her eyes. I didn't want to cause her emotional pain too. I smoothed the worried lines on her forehead.

"What are you thinking? I whispered again.

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I …?

Did she, was she kidding, she was going to try to take the blame. No!

My eyes tightened. " How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it."

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So now this story is complete. But I feel I gave Edward the spotlight. So I may go back and edit/add to Bella's Chapters...give her a little more time. I'm not sure.

I could keep going and going but we all know what happens from here. So what did you think? Please let me know. I love reviews and haven't gotten very many. I would love any input, good or bad.

Thanks again for reading.....look the little box is right there


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